


Like I Can

by fablecorn



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, F/M, Making Out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 03:48:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20147122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fablecorn/pseuds/fablecorn
Summary: Anger. Jealousy. Hurt. Confusion. These were all the emotions Zen felt whenever he thought about MC being with Jumin. He was going to make her realize that she didn't belong with Jumin.I'm calling it "like i can" because I was listening to like i can by sam smith while I wrote this. I hope you all enjoy this.





	Like I Can

Zen hasn't been able to take his eyes off of you all night. Not even when he desperately wanted to rip his eyes away to avoid the impending fall of tears. As everyone roared with cheers around him when Jumin fell to his knee in front of you, all he could focus on was the ecstatic look on your face and the burning pain in his heart. How could you? How could you choose Jumin? How could you not choose Zen even after everything you went through while you were at Jumin's penthouse? Zen was the one who stayed up with you night after night, listening to all your fears and doubts about Jumin. When you voiced to Zen that you thought Jumin might be dangerous, that you weren't sure you were safe with him, he was the one to comfort you and assure you that he'd be there to keep you safe. He was the one you relied on. So then why was it Jumin who you chose to love? 

Zen needed an explanation. Maybe it was the anger and confusion that Zen wasn't bothering to deal with, or maybe it was the 6 glasses of champagne that he had downed since the start of the party, but something made him think it would be a good idea to camp out by the door to the women's restroom and wait for you to step away from Jumin. That way he could talk to you. Finally, after 15 minutes of Zen redirecting women to the unisex bathroom due to "maintenance issues" you finally rounded the corner. You look up from rumaging around in your purse, eyes widening and a wide grin stretching your mouth when you finally notice him standing there.

You call out his name in excitement, eager to talk to him away from the noise of the party. It was really suprising to you how close and comfortable you'd come to feel around Zen and there was really no one else you were more excited to talk to about how you were feeling about Jumin. But, before you can get any other words out, Zen grabs hold of your wrist and pulls you into the women's bathroom, the door clicking closed behind him. Your heels slip across the tiled floor, hands reaching out to steady yourself against the hand dryer.

"Zen!" 

Your voice bounces off the walls of the empty four-stall bathroom, the incredulity crystal-clear.

"What in the world are you doing?"

Finding your center of gravity, you spin on your heel to face Zen, arms crossed over your chest. Zen makes sure to lock the door, not wanting any interruptions, and begins to walk towards you. Your confidence stutters then with Zen's red eyes searching yours intensely. Automatically, you begin to step back, stopping only when your back unexpectedly hits the wall farthest from the door.

"Zen?"

You try his name again, this time a tone of uncertainty is what you hear bounce off the walls. Zen seems to not hear you, his step unfaltering until, finally, his chest meets the palms of your hands, put up by you in an attempt to keep him at a respectable distance. He silently brings his hands up to cover yours, leaning in to place his forehead against yours. For a while, the two of you stay that way and all you can hear is Zen's unsteady breathing and the erratic beating of your heart. You try to get him to talk one more time.

"Zen, please, I don't know what-"

"Why him, MC?"

His abrupt question steals the words from off your tongue. You try to look him in the eye but he moves to nuzzle his face into the dip of your shoulder. That's when you feel it. Your breath catches as the warmth from his tears seeps through your hair and spreads across your skin. A shiver rolls over your body when he releases a deep, warm sigh against your pulse and you reflexively slip your hands out of his to lock them behind his neck, offering what is hopefully a comforting hug.

"Zen, what's wrong?"

"Just answer me, MC. Please."

Your heart squeezes when you hear the tremble in his voice. His hands tremble too. You notice it when he loops his arms loosely around your waist.

"Why is it Jumin?"

Realizing what kind of conversation Zen is trying to have, you try to pull out of his grasp, wanting desperately to look him in the eyes for this. He refuses, his arms tightening their hold around your body, fingers spreading to carress your exposed skin.

"Let me have this. Just a little longer, MC," he begs, lips ghosting against soft skin behind your ear.

So you let him hold you close like that and tell him what you thought he already knew.

"I really care for Jumin. I understand him and he needs me, Zen."

Zen snaps then. With a growl that sends goosebumps crawling from your head to your toes he brings his hands up to either side of your face, finally giving you the eye contact you've been wanting. You're taken aback by what you see there. His eyes are flooded by a mix of anger, pain, and tears. Even then, you realize, he is still the most beautiful person you've ever seen.

"What about me then, MC? You understand  _ me _ , don't you? And I need you, too, MC. What about that?"

His hands are tangling in your hair, holding you in place as he pushes his nose against yours. You smell the champagne he's been drinking and the faint trace of a cigarette that he must have had before the party. It's all you can focus on and you forget that he's still waiting for you to respond to his questions. He wraps your hair around his fist and gently pulls your head back, capturing your attention with a breathy call of your name.

"But, Zen, I-"

"There's also something else you're ignoring, MC."

Zen loosens his grip on your hair but you choose to keep your face right where it is. You enjoy the warm feeling that spreads over you when his breath fans across your mouth.

"You may understand Jumin, but does he understand you?"

Your focus zeroes in on the way one of Zen's hands starts to travel down your back.

"It just seems one-sided to me, honestly."

His hand is resting on your hip now, rubbing calming circles into your flesh.

"While you helped him through his breakdown he basically held you hostage. He's a better man now because of you, but what good has he done for you?"

You can feel the soft flutter of his eyelashes as he inches his face ever closer to yours, both of you letting your eyes fall shut.

"You and I got to know each other. I know you. Does he know you, MC?"

A soft hum escapes your throat when Zen finally presses his lips against yours. It's the softest, quickest kiss you've ever had, but you swear that your heart is going to shoot right out of your chest any second now because of it. 

"Why isn't it me that you want, MC?"

You really don't know how to answer him. All you know is that you actually kind of agree with him. If you were to be completely honest with yourself, then you'd admit that you had more in common with Zen than with Jumin. You knew more about Zen than Jumin. You had shared more facts about yourself with Zen than with Jumin. Frankly, you felt closer to Zen than to Jumin. Still, you recite to Zen what you've been telling yourself since the first time you tried to leave Jumin's penthouse.

"Jumin really needs me, Zen. I don't know what would happen to him if he doesn't have someone to help him work through his issues."

Zen takes hold of the hair at the nape of your neck again, angling you face up towards his with an exasperated sigh. You involuntarily whimper at the sensation, embarassed by how much Zen is affecting you and how much you're letting it show. 

"But you feel something for me, MC. I know it."

His breath tickles your lips and you so desperately want to kiss him again. If he would just loosen his grip on your hair you could push forward to bridge the space between your mouth and his, but it seems he isn't done reasoning with you.

"Are you willing to ignore whatever this is between us to play therapist for Jumin Han?"

That's when he finally lets go of you. He lets his hands slip from your hair and your hip. You try to press your lips to his, but he steps back and pushes his hands into the pockets of his white pants. You're left clinging to him, hands still hanging around his neck, and you feel so cold and imcomplete without Zen holding you.

"What am I supposed to do, Zen?" You slip your hands past his shoulders and rest them on the buttons of his coat, not wanting to break contact with him completely.

"How can I just leave him after everything he's been through?"

You take a step forward and press your forehead against Zen's chest. With what you're going to say next you suddenly feel too shy to look Zen in the eyes.

"He says… He says he loves me."

Zen scoffs. He takes a hand from his pocket and runs his fingers through his bangs. He doesn't need you to remind him of that. He was standing in the crowd when Jumin addressed the press and confessed his love for you. He watched everything unfold, saw the way you reacted to it all. 

Feeling your fists tighten around the fabric of his coat, he reaches down to lift your gaze to his with a finger to your chin. Your eyes are pooling with tears and his expression immediately softens.

"MC, listen," he says as he brings both hands to either cheek, wiping under your eyes with his thumbs. You instinctively lean into his touch, earning a soft checkle from him.

"It's only been 11 days. Do you think you love him? So soon?"

You avert your gaze, but bring your hand up to cover his, wanting to make sure that he keeps touching you. Realizing that you have no answer, Zen continues.

"I care about you a lot, MC, but I know I don't love you after only 11 days. I know I'd like to get there one day though."

You bring your gaze back to his and see nothing but warmth and sincerity in his eyes.

"I'd like to keep getting to know you and fall in love with you someday. That's rational. I don't think Jumin is being rational right now. But it doesn't matter what I think or how I feel. I want to know how you feel, MC."

Zen looks at you imploringly, eyes flicking from left to right hoping to find the answer he wants in your eyes. Looking into his eyes you feel yourself become overwhelmed with a desire to fall in love with him, too. You think back to all the phone calls and chats you shared with him. You can imagine going on picnics with him and having friend chicken. Or you could go on walks together every night for light exercise and buy fish shaped buns on the way home. You could have beer together on weekends and on days when he didn't have any shows. You could even be a supportive girlfriend who helps him run lines and shows up to every single show.

"I'd like to keep getting to know you, too, Zen."

When you finally answer him there's actually tears running down your face. Zen's lips part into the most beautiful smile you've ever seen as he wipes the wetness off your cheeks. His thumbs are followed by the press of his lips and you stand there basking in his affection, hoping that once he's done kissing your tears away he'll kiss your lips, too.

And Zen definitely doesn't disappoint.

He grips the back of your head with one hand, strands of hair slipping through his fingers. His other arm encircles your hips, bringing your body flush against his as he finally takes your lips. At first, it's just a long, firm press of his lips to yours. Experimental. You're feeling each other out. Then, he pulls back and returns with several soft, lingering pecks. 

Your heart is hammering away, the sound nothing but a roar inside your head. All your focus is on the soft, warm brush of his mouth on yours and the jolt of pleasure you get each time you feel his tongue tentatively swipe against your bottom lip. When Zen introduces a bit more pressure with his tongue you willingly part your lips, his tongue slipping inside to seek out your own. 

Your body instinctively arches into his, a moan emerging from deep in your chest, and Zen can feel his whole body catching fire. His skin burns white hot where your nails are digging into him in your attempt to bring him closer. He responds by gripping your hips even harder, a desperate want to knead your flesh without the barrier of clothes between you. Without much thought he starts to bunch your skirt up in his hands, bringing the hem up little by little, slowly exposing more and more of your skin. You slip your hands past the lapels of his jacket and deftly undo the top buttons of his shirt.

Zen begins to think that he should put a stop to this. There's more the two of you need to discuss, but he suddenly runs out of skirt to gather and his fingers brush against your bare skin. A heady groan rumbles from his chest and past his lips as he spreads his fingers out against the flesh of your thigh. Your hands have disappeared into Zen's shirt, nails raking softly along his shoulders and collar bone. Zen is struggling now. He can feel a stir in his pants and its getting difficult to ignore the voice in his head telling him to move his hand slightly higher so he can get a handful of your bottom. 

Hoping to catch his breath and regain a little control, Zen wrenches his lips away from yours and instead nuzzles his face into your hair again, finding comfort in the smell of your shampoo. With this new angle that Zen has put the two of you in you bring your arms out of his shirt to rest around his shoulders, hands reaching up to thread through his hair. Zen relaxes into your hold, not expecting it when you roll your hips against his and swipe your tongue against the skin of his neck. He hisses, immediately pulling away from you. 

He's holding you at arms length by your shoulders and you're sure the look on your face is as confused as you feel. All Zen does is look at you, chest heaving with uneven breaths and face flushed a pretty shade of pink. You try to lift his hands from your shoulders and get closer to him, but he has his hands firmly planted. All you want is to feel his erection against your stomach again and you're about to tell him that before he starts talking.

"MC, I know I've told you this before, but men are wolves-including me."

You open your mouth to argue that you're a full grown woman who can make her own decisions, but he keeps going.

"I don't think now is the right time for us to keep going. There's still a lot we have to figure out. Especially with Jumin. Plus, I think you're someone special that I'd like to take it slow with. Is that okay?"

Immediately, you melt like butter at his words. You're unsure about what you ever did to deserve getting someone like Zen in your life. You nod, letting him know that you're willing to do things right. You do have doubts, though, and you let him know.

"I'm just nervous about having to let Jumin down."

Instead of giving you some kind of speech or words of reassurance, you feel Zen slips his fingers between yours, squeezing your hand comfortingly. You look up at him inquisitively and lean into him when he decides to give your lips a soft, lingering peck.

"I'll be with you," he whispers.

With those four words he's said more than enough. You're certain that as long as Zen is by your side, you'll be able to face anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, all. I've never published a fic before. I've written fics before but have never bothered posting them anywhere. I've always been too nervous and self conscious. But like, I'm an English major and I'm planning on being a writer someday so I figured I'd try to get over it. So, I'd really appreciate any constructive criticism! Or if you'd just like to let me know if you liked it that's appreciated, too. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy my first published fanfic ^-^


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